The Nocturnal Fey 2018 Rewind and 2019 Reimagining

the nocturnal fey

Happy New Year! It’s been awhile!

My 2018 was an absolute roller-coaster ride! If you follow me everywhere else other than this blog, you may (or may not) have noticed my sudden absence for awhile. 2018 was probably one of the hardest (if not the hardest) year so far in my life and I’d like to give myself a pat in the back for making it through that year.

The year may not be a relatively good year for me, but even with that being said, there are also amazing things that happened to me that I am so thankful for. It’s just like what Miss Universe 2018 Catriona Gray said but in my case – my 2018, is very poor and very sad, but I’ve always taught myself to look for the beauty in it… and to be very grateful.

Loool.

It’s true though.

A comeback!

This post was originally planned as a sort of bookstagram comeback post. However, while I was writing my caption, I didn’t realize that it’s already too long enough to make a blog post out of it. So, here it is!

Okay! It’s going to be a try-not-to-be-overly-dramatic-challenge from here on.

* My 2018 Ups and Downs *

Just so you know, I’m not really the type of person to share “too” personal and private information about my life on my social platforms. I try my best to keep a very low profile online and I personally don’t really feel comfortable sharing a lot about my personal life.

But last November, I shared on my bookstagram one of the hardest things that had happened to me in 2018. It was really very out of character of me, but at that moment, I just felt the need to have a place where I can pour my emotions.

I lost my beloved grandmother, whom I grew up with and lived with for 16 years until I moved in the city for college. It was my first time to experience losing someone really close to me. The emotions were overwhelming. I just ended up detaching myself from everything for awhile.

If you want to read my full post, you can check the post below.

View this post on Instagram

I lost my grandmother last November 27th. I've experience death of a relative several times, but this is the first time ever for me to experience losing someone so close to me. It was overwhelming and painful. We were expecting it. We were preparing since the time she was hospitalized in early November this year. But no matter how prepared I was, it just really hits in the gut when the time comes. – I detached myself in social media for weeks because I don't have the energy to talk to people. I kept my emotions to myself. I only started posting again on my personal and private account and opening up to my closest friends after the funeral. Everything is still raw and she still comes to my thoughts every now and then. – We always celebrate New Years in the province with our maternal grandparents and it will feel weird to celebrate without her this coming New Years for the first time. She always cries when it's time for us to go back to Manila. No more crying, she'll always look over us from now on. – I know that she's now at peace. She's probably already partying with her brothers and sisters. She was the last one standing. – No more pain, Apu. You will be missed everyday but you will always be in our hearts. – How I wish I was able to paint you while you're still alive, and that I got to see your reaction to the painting. ūüėě I will finish this and will bring back it to you. – I love you, thank you. ‚̧

A post shared by Erika | ūüáĶūüá≠ (@thenocturnalfey) on

Unplanned long break.

You know, it’s okay to take a break entirely from all your activities if you’re feeling tired, burned out, uninspired, unmotivated, or sad. I do this regularly from work when I feel burned out. It’s my way to cope up from stress, to clear the mind, and to heal from something – anything.

When I decided to detach myself from all my online activities after my gran’s demise, I planned it to be brief because I have to go back to work, which is online. However, I didn’t realize that I was already unconsciously taking a relatively long break from all the activities that I love doing. I only realized that it’s been quite long when I actually started counting while writing this post.

For the past months, I’ve been trying to gather all the motivations to get back to doing all the things I love the most. I haven’t painted/drawn anything for over a month. I haven’t opened a book for more than two months. The last time I blogged and wrote a book review was two months ago. And I can’t even remember the last time I took bookish photos for my bookstagram. These are all the things that I really love doing.

I just had this fall out from everything after that tragedy.

Unexpected gift.

Someone unexpected came into my life while on hiatus.

Someone that helped me get better and feel more positive day by day.

I adopted a furry friend.

She’s been giving me joy and positivity for the past weeks.

New beginnings.

The other day, I woke up feeling extra positive. It’s this moment when I felt the push that I need the most to move forward to the new year.

That same night, I logged in to my blog for the first time since November and I felt inspired… Nope, I actually logged in to my blog because I was billed for my hosting and it’s a waste not to use it. But seriously though, kidding aside, I felt kinda sad how uneventful my 2018 blogging and bookstgramming career went by. So, I felt the urge to post a bookstagram immediately.

However, when I checked my Todoist, which is a To Do list app that I use for work, I found out that I have a bunch of things that I need to do.

I figured that if I want to make things work for me, I should start by knowing my priorities and be very disciplined about it.

So, for the past two days, I finished all my deadlines for work so I can start with my usual activities outside work again!


Now that I’m feeling more positive and motivated, I looked back again in my 2018 and realized that the year overall wasn’t really that bad. I guess, my grandma’s demise, understandably so, overshadowed every good thing that had happened to me, especially because it happened near the end of the year.

Now, let’s take a look back to the great things.

* The Nocturnal Fey 2018 Rewind *

Okay! That’s not too bad right?! Yeah. My year sort of stopped after November, but I’ll tell you guys that I was still able to celebrate the holiday season with my family with smiles on our faces. There was an empty spot, but all is well.

* 2019 Reimagining *

Now! For 2019, I’m not really planning on listing down some sort of bookish goals or resolution, because I’ll be honest – I know full well that I will never be able to accomplish those. I still do Goodreads Reading Challenge though. Lol

But seriously though, rather than having a list of bookish goals and stuff, there’s this ONE thing that I want to accomplish in 2019 and the years after. Not exclusively bookish – it applies to my entire being…

BE MORE DISCIPLINED.

In everything.

My reading goals, my work deadlines, any other schedules, lifestyle, etc.

Every other resolution comes after. I think, if I become a lot disciplined as a person, I know that I will be able to do other things more effectively.

So yeah. Let’s start with that.

I also have some unfinished businesses left last year that I absolutely need to do this year. This includes some artworks that I owe from my Ko-Fi crowdfunding and some items that need to be shipped. I never forgot all these, guys! I just went through some sh*t and I sincerely thank you for the patience.

Anyway, I know that this post is already too long. If you reached the end of this post, WELL WHY THANK YOU! I really appreciate that.

So while you’re here, if you guys are interested to commission me for artworks, feel free to click the button below for information.

COMMISSION INFO

I’m also planning to add more stuff on my Red Bubble and Society6 shops. So, if you guys want to see any specific design, feel free to send me a message!

Any goals and resolutions for 2019? Comment below! I’d love to read what you have planned for this year.

9 Replies to “The Nocturnal Fey 2018 Rewind and 2019 Reimagining”

    • Thank you so much, Raf! You’re a big part of my 2018 bookish endeavor, you know that. I hope we can keep working together this year even though we both know that it’s going to be hectic due to our adulting lives. Haha

  • Awww when I saw the notification on my email for this post, I immediately opened it and I was not disappointed with such a great post. I know it‚Äôs been a while now but I still wanted to say I‚Äôm sorry for your loss, Erika. Your strength is admirable. Your 2018 rewind is an inspiration and I‚Äôm looking forward to what you have in store this year. Here‚Äôs to a memorable year! ‚̧
    Salwa recently posted…#Project14Lists | Day 5: Top 10 Backlist Books I Want to Read in 2019My Profile

  • My sincere condolences for the passing of your beloved grandma. ūüôĀ

    It’s my pleasure and honor for being able to take part in some of your 2018 blogging milestones: PH blog tour for Are We All Lemmings and Snowflakes by Holly Bourne, PH blog tour for Kingdom of the Blazing Phoenix by Julie C. Dao, and Twitter chat #FPBChat. You are honestly one of my fave blog tour organizers!

    Best of luck on your blog and your creative endeavors for 2019! And P.S. Welcome to the cat lady club, lol! Your kitty is a cutie.
    Jennilyn V. recently posted…My 2019 Beat the Backlist Challenge Sign-Up PostMy Profile

    • Jen! It’s always been a pleasure to have you on my tours/bookish events. You are very wonderful and I really appreciate all your support.

      Thanks for the well wishes! To you as well! My kitty will love that compliment. She’s such a sass. Lol

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